Tenchi Muyo: No need for paradise.
By Brendan O’Donnell
Kyone stood in the center of the cheap room she had rented. "That was a pretty pathetic beginning." She commented, looking out the window.
There was a loud crash from inside the apartment. Kiyone pivoted, drawing her gun and leveling it at the source of the noise. Her eyes widened in shock as the gun dropped from her suddenly nerveless fingers.
"Wow," Mihoshi commented as she picked herself off the floor, feeling the top of her head with one hand. "It doesn't hurt at all." She shifted her attention and her face lit up with happiness. "Kiyone!" Three steps brought her within range to sweep her one time partner into a fierce hug.
"Mi-Mihoshi? How . . . You . . . I . . ."
"What's wrong Kiyone? You look like you've seen a ghost."
"I HAVE! YOU'RE DEAD REMEMBER!"
Mihoshi shrugged. "Aren't you too?"
Kiyone blinked. "Yeah, I jumped off the Tokyo Tower. About a week after you . . . After . . ."
"Oh don't worry, I'm not mad at you! If I'd been a better partner you wouldn't have killed me."
Kiyone looked at her smiling partner. She remembered the surprised and questioning look on her face as she died from Kiyone's shots. For a week that final image of Mihoshi's face had haunted her dreams, then for fifteen years she it had been infused with accusation, reminding her why she belonged in Hell.
"I mean Heaven's pretty nice, but when your best friends been sent to hell, that really kills the mood," Mihoshi giggled. "Anyways, when I learned about the escape and that you had been chosen to bring them back, I managed to convince one of the angels to let me talk to the Devil about helping you out. You know it's incredible how much he and the angels look alike, have you noticed?"
"I haven't seen any angels."
"Well they all look alike anyway. But as I was saying, I got to talk to the devil, and he wasn't sure at first but he decided that while I can't actually do anything directly, I can pass along information to help you out."
"Ok, I know what I'm supposed to be doing, but how am I supposed to do it? I mean, that guy I not only was incredibly strong, but he burned his way through a chain link fence."
"Yeah, he said he might have forgotten a few details about what you have to do. Time has something to do with it, yeah the longer your in hell the more hell becomes part of you."
"So do I have any advantages?"
"Um, you're governed by the same rules as them." Mihoshi commented scratching her head.
"What rules."
"Well your dead. So you can't die, and nothing hurts unless it's done by someone else who's dead."
"And how do I send them back if they can't die?"
Mihoshi crossed her arms and frowned. "I know he told me, it was something about . . . That's right, you have to wash their windows!"
A large drop of sweat rolled down Kiyone's cheek as she responded, "I what?"
Mihoshi's expression changed from cheerful to puzzled. "Or was that break their windows? I'm sure windows had something to do with it. He was talking a little weird about it all. Oh wait, he wrote it all down for me." With a grin Mihoshi pulled out her control cube and twisted it on the top. The clock radio turned on and started playing the chorus from Handle's Messiah. "That's not it," Another twist and a small hole opened in subspace over Kiyone's head, dumping a dozen bras and panties on her.
"Mihoshi." Kiyone commented as she pulled the lingerie off her head.
"Oh that's right!" Mihoshi commented as she twisted the cube two times. The top of the cube turned black and a scroll poked up from it. Mihoshi took it out of the cube and opened it up.
"Hmm, window's, window's. Oh! He's talking about the window's of the soul!"
"Window's of, you mean the eyes?"
"Yeah, if the eyes are destroyed they get sent back to hell. Or wherever."
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